Number of words: 261<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Puns for the day<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1.I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2.My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3.Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
4.Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
5. Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
6. My girlfriend said, “You act like a detective too much. I want to split up.” “Good idea,” I replied. “We can cover more ground that way.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
7.I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
8.I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I’ve never looked back since.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
9.What’s the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nut are under a buck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
10.Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
11.eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
12.I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts’ which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
13.Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion. I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
14.Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
15. With great reflexes comes great response ability.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"