Number of words: 2,162<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have a simple philosophy in life I\u2019ve learned from people much smarter than me. That is, watch the people you don\u2019t want to be like, and do the opposite of what they do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m not trying to be a dick, but I have more than enough examples to last a million lifetimes. Let\u2019s call a spade a spade. Masses of men and women are highly ineffective. I think they\u2019re good people with good hearts, but I don\u2019t want to be like them at all. Being like them was always one of my biggest fears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I was like them at one point. I\u2019m no saint. I\u2019ve screwed up more in my life than I\u2019ve been productive. Fortunately, you don\u2019t need to be productive for a super long time to succeed and once you start being effective, the past tends to fade away no matter how long you spent being ineffective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So the good news? You can change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bad news? The odds are stacked against you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The best route? Instead of trying to figure out what to do, focus on what not to do, starting with these habits that practically guarantee you\u2019ll fall short of your own expectations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Focus On This Fake Clown Show B.S. Circus<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTo be completely cured of newspapers, spend a year reading the previous week\u2019s newspapers.\u201d \u2014 Nassim Taleb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyone who says they \u201cwant to stay informed\u201d is an ineffective person \u2014 and they\u2019re also ill-informed because the news is a massive psyop designed to misinform.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you had a ton of positive things going on in your life \u2014 career, business, health, networking, etc \u2014 you wouldn\u2019t have time to be obsessed with the news.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t even avoid the news on purpose anymore. It\u2019s so far down the list of my priorities that it might as well not exist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The effectiveness equation makes no sense. Where is your focus more effective? Focusing on changing yourself as an individual? Or trying to change the world?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not only is it not useful to be obsessed with the news and mainstream media, but it\u2019s also counterproductive and sucks your energy. War, rape, kids dying, shootings, stabbings, political fighting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How could you be in an effective \u2018go-getter\u2019 mood if you spent a bunch of time focused on subjects like these?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Almost 100% of the people I\u2019ve observed who are obsessed with the news in politics have the following traits:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They look unhealthy and worn down. Irritable Never have a project in their life that provides meaning<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The important stuff will get to you. Trust me. Focus on yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Focus On the Wrong Parts of Projects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLet go of the thing that you\u2019re trying to be (the noun), and focus on the actual work you need to be doing (the verb).\u201d \u2014 Austin Kleon<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are two ways to go about projects like writing, shooting YouTube videos, starting a business, whatever it may be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Person A focuses on window dressing. They need to have their blog perfectly set up and designed before they start writing. They need an expensive camera and lighting set up to start their YouTube channel. Instead of looking for customers for their business, they buy business cards, set up their LLC even though they\u2019re making no money, and add \u201cCEO\u201d to their Twitter bio.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Person B gets cheap hosting for their blog, has it set up in hours, and starts writing. When I started my YouTube channel, I just opened my laptop and started shooting videos on my normal webcam. If you want to start a business right now, say freelancing, you could instantly jump on LinkedIn and start pitching people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Person B always wins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Entire businesses have been built on scouring LinkedIn, setting up simple landing pages, blogs, and online stores. No need for the fancy window dressing to be successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I notice often that people who are beginners at something but have good production and packaging almost always fail. Perfectionists get the least traction. Those who dive in and \u2018just do\u2019 tend to win.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRemember, you alone get to choose what matters and what doesn\u2019t. The meaning of everything in your life has precisely the meaning you give it.\u201d \u2014 Marc and Angel<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You\u2019re too short. You\u2019re too tall. You have no money. Your parents didn\u2019t hug you enough. You don\u2019t have the resources and network to be successful. You\u2019re any other category than a white male. You feel unfairly chastised for being a white male. You\u2019re left-handed. You live in a small town. You have a rare toe disease.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everyone has an excuse. Everyone has a sob story or something to complain about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The world is unfair to you in some unique way, so unique that no one has ever experienced anything similar to your situation at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Look, I know you feel like your situation is unique. But it isn\u2019t. I know you feel like some immutable characteristic you have is holding you back. It\u2019s not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So what if you start behind others on your race in this life? Are you just going to quit? I have a little joke I tell when people complain to me about their super-unique situation. I tell them<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOkay, dude, you\u2019re right. Just quit. I dunno what to tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That joking response is the only appropriate response to those feelings. You\u2019re fine. You can do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s 2020. Thanks to internet access, the playing field is more than level enough. Stop listening to the snowflake brigade \u2014 yeah, I said it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Win regardless of your situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once you understand life is a game of momentum, you\u2019ll understand how to be successful. Stopping and starting all the time not only makes you ineffective, but it makes it harder to start each time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I see this with writers all the time. They wait for inspiration to strike. Sometimes it does and they do write something amazing, but then they take a long break only to find they can\u2019t replicate that success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Almost everything in life can be analogized to the gym.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You could work out every day for a year. Stop working out for a few months and you lose a bunch of that progress. Sure, you retain some, but you can\u2019t go lift the same weights you used to be able to when you start again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I talk about finding your strengths ad absurdum for a reason. The more you like something and the more talent you have for it, the more likely you are to stick with it. I\u2019ve had some success with writing for one simple reason. I never stopped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
People who start and stop all the time are like people who buy and sell investments because the price goes up and down. Great investors buy and hold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe you\u2019re like I used to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You have a ton of ideas, hobbies, and projects. You try them on and off for weeks or months at a time, but nothing sticks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Living like this causes frustration and makes you never want to stick with anything. You build an identity as a person who never sticks with anything. But you can break out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Make it 90 days first, doing your \u2018thing\u2019 daily. Then 6 months. Then a year. After 24 months, you\u2019re unlikely to quit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This Might Be the Worst One<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018How much time he saves who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks.\u2019\u2014 Marcus Aurelius<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One thing I\u2019ve noticed is how much people bond, or even get upset over, the accomplishments of other people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In conversation, they talk about their favourite sports teams, T.V. shows, movies, restaurants, etc. \u2014 things other people worked hard to create and perform.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or on the negative, they\u2019ll hate on people they don\u2019t even know. I love using the Kardashians as a Rorschach test. If you have too strong of an opinion on them, you\u2019re weird. Why do you care what they\u2019re doing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This theme about overly caring about what other people do works both macro and micro, from celebrities to gossiping about people you know in real life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Similarly to what I said about the news, I just don\u2019t have the energy to prioritize what other people are doing. I\u2019m not trying to not care, I just don\u2019t care by default as a byproduct of focusing on my own mission.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Focusing on what others are doing distorts your view of reality. From envying people who curate the best of their lives on social media to wishing you got the same lucky breaks as others, to even something seemingly positive like identifying too heavily with your favourite celeb or sports team, you\u2019re sending subconscious signals that your own life is of the least importance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Notice a theme here?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The more you focus on yourself, your mission, your habits, your outcomes, etc, you don\u2019t even have to try to stop being ineffective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It just happens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Have Fun\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A certain level of escapism is good and necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After a long day where my brain is engaged, I\u2019m stressed over piecing together the moving parts of a project, and I just don\u2019t have any creative energy left, I will zone out with some T.V.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I go out for drinks with friends. I shoot pool, bowl, throw darts, and plenty of other \u2018normal\u2019 activities. I\u2019ll even smoke some weed on occasion (which makes the movies more fun to watch).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m not a self-improvement robot. I make time for fun and for purposeful escapism. So what\u2019s the difference<\/p>\n\n\n\n
between my escapism and the escapism of most people?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Most people use escapism constantly because they can\u2019t handle their lives. They use it as a coping mechanism. If you have to do a certain activity then you\u2019re a slave to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you have to go out and drink every weekend and you\u2019re above the age of 25, you have some emotional issues to deal with. Watching T.V. from the second you get home until you go to bed every single day is a sign you\u2019re trying to numb yourself enough to make it to the next day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s never the activities in and of themselves, but the reasons you\u2019re doing them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I used to hedge and not allude to the idea that people are using escapism to run the clock out on life, but this is exactly what they\u2019re doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your behaviour tells me everything I need to know about you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You can tell me you\u2019re happy and content all you want, but the things you actually do make it obvious whether or not that\u2019s true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Again, I never actively tried to reduce these activities. The mission supersedes them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tell Themselves the Biggest Lie Ever<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The overarching theme here?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ineffective people don\u2019t just admit what they want from life and decide to go get it. They lie to themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here\u2019s the thing about lying to yourself, though. As much as you\u2019re able to bury your dreams into the recesses of your soul, you still know they\u2019re there. And the more you try to repress your feelings, the worse off you\u2019ll be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Society is so messed up simply because people are lying to themselves. That frustrated energy has to go somewhere. And you see it manifest in many ways \u2014 some quite nasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You know what you want to do with your life, deep down, but you\u2019re just not doing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ineffective people think themselves into insanity and build this gigantic pile of rationalizations to cope with life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m content.\u201d No, you\u2019re not, I can smell the discontentment on you from across the computer screen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI don\u2019t need to .\u201d No, you don\u2019t need to, but you want to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI have a good family, friends, a roof over my head.\u201d Yeah, most people do. You don\u2019t get points for that. There\u2019s nothing impressive about that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is about you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t know you personally, but I\u2019m pretty good at reflecting your emotions back at you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why? Because we\u2019re mostly the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We mostly have the same basic dreams and most of us are ineffective at getting them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why? We\u2019re stifled, repressed, and afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I see all of this creative energy and people but it\u2019s locked up. We live in a culture where you\u2019re shamed for wanting to crawl out of the crab bucket. Fuck those crabs. My life got infinitely better when I decided I wasn\u2019t going to let the opinions of crabs hold me back from doing what I want to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I want to build wealth, have tons of fans, travel the world, find spiritual enlightenment, make my local community better, develop an elite level network and relationships, and a list a mile long of other goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not only do I want these things, but I\u2019m going to get all of them without an ounce of shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not only is it okay to want to win. It\u2019s the prerequisite to winning. You have to decide to live a better life. Once you do, you\u2019ll be more effective than you could ever imagine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n