Number of words: 397

Sarcastic facts based on solid logic:-

1.   The past tense of fit is fat.

2.   An infinite number of $1 bills and $20 bills are worth the same.

3.   If your parachute doesn’t deploy, you have the rest of the life to fix it.

4.   Average human lifespan is 70 years equating to 2.2 billion seconds. There are 7.5 billion people on Earth. So technically every person is not even worth a second of your time.

5.   The sentence “Don’t objectify women” has women as the object of the sentence.

6.   You cannot make History if you use Incognito Mode.

7.   We pay taxes on money we earn to pay taxes on money we spend.

8.   No matter how good you are, you can always be replaced.

9.   Pizza is the real-time pie chart of how much pizza is left.

10.  There is a tree out there that is growing out there for your coffin or your funeral pyre.

11.   If you cut off your left arm then your right arm would be left.

12.   The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.

13.   No matter how strong mathematician or guesser you are, but you can’t guess the ending digits of “pi”

14.   100 years ago the rich owned the cars while the poor had horses. Now everyone has a car while only the rich own horses.

15.   People say “marriage is forever” but actually Divorce is forever.

16.   There’s no physical evidence to say that today is Monday. We just have to trust someone who kept the count since first one ever.

17.   Cows are so calm and happy because their favourite food is on the ground all the time. Imagine walking on pizzas all day.

18.  The Wright Brothers were responsible for 9/11 too.

19.   We spend five days a week pretending to be someone else in order to spend two days being who we are.

20. Whenever you register a username, you are disappointing someone in the future.

21.   Internet connects people at a long distance and disconnects people at a short distance.

22.  Someone has your dream job and hates going to work every day.

23.  Alcohol is a solution.

24.  Cells divide to multiply.

25.  If you beat your own record, you’re both a winner and a loser.